i miss you . like , really yes i do .

I still remember the look on your face
lit through the darkness at 2:15 am
The words that you whispered for just us to know
you told me you loved me , So why did you go away?

That February 27th

the beat of your heart jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is that
I don't know how to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
i never imagined we'd end like this

Because I love your handshake meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you before
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are :)

I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you , you wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

Your name, forever the name on my heart

You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

but I never thought I'd live to see it break

It's getting dark and it's all too quiet

And I can't trust anything now

And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Oh, I'm holding my breath

Won't lose you again

something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

You're all I wanted

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Stood there and watched you walk away

From everything we had

But I still mean every word I said to you

He would try to take away my pain

And he just might make me smile

But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

I know, I know, I just know

You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.

i do

kau lah yang selalu maafkan aku kan dulu

banyak kali mana pun kau maafkan kan ?

ye aku rindu kau ,

tapi aku tahu kau takkan pernah rindu aku :'(

yea it hurts a lot .

and now , im falling in love again...

with you :')

propose me

you already knew my answer .

thank you so much

i benci u

terima kasih Farid .

terima kasih sangat sangat

memang mengguris hati ayat ni .

tapi masih tak dapat nak hilangkan rasa sayang ni

dan masih tak dapat buat saya benci dekat awak .

im not over you , am i ?

it never crossed my mind at all

that's what i keep telling myself

what we had has come and gone

it's for the best i know it is but i see you

sometimes i try to hide what i feel inside

i turn around and youre with her now

i just can't figure it out

tell me why you're so hard to forget

dont remind me that im not over it

tell me why i cant seem to face the truth

im just too little to not over you

aren't memories suppose to fade ?

what's wrong with my heart ?

shake it off , let it go

didn't think it' be this hard

i should be strong and moving on

but then i see your face

sometimes i try to hide what i feel inside

maybe i regret everything that i said

no other way to take it all back

now im on my own to let you go

kenapa kau datang waktu waktu macam ni -,-'

yes , i'm speechless .

memandangkan blog ini hanya dua orang sahaja yang tahu , iaitu Ain Izzati dan Liana , so tak kesah lah kan kalau nak mluahkan perasaan pun . heee ;)

memang tak pernah terfikir pun benda ni

tak terfikir yang dia akan call aku .

memang macam mimpi .

waktu tu tuhan saja yg tahu rasa hati ni .

rasa nak call , tapi credit macam haram je tggl 1 sen --'

so i did text him dengan harapan menggunung dia akan call

walaupun waktu tu tengah deny yang dia tak akan call balik

but yeah he did call .

i picked up the phone with 'hello :)'

and dia kata 'assalamualaikum'

rasa segan tiba tiba . dia dah berubah :)

rasa lega hati ni .

dia tanya bila result SPM keluar semua .

dan aku ada tanya dia sihat tak

sihat . sihat sangat sangat .

tersenyum gembira sangat waktu tu .

sungguh aku tak tipu .

but then suddenly air mata mengalir keluar .

aku tak tahu untuk apakah air mata tu .

aku cuba untuk tahan tapi makin deras .

but yeah i manage untuk kawal suara .

alhamdullillah .

dan dia tamat kan talian sebab nak kemas barang .

aku rasa bersyukur sebab dia tak dengar aku menangis

aku taknak dia anggap aku lemah .

aku taknak dia nampak Atiqa yang lemah

aku nak dia nampak Atiqa yang kuat .

Atiqa yang boleh berdiri dengan kaki sndiri .

Atiqa yang boleh hidup tanpa dia .

but the truth is I CAN'T

i just can't do it without him

maybe he can live without me .

and maybe dia lagi gembira dengan hidup tanpa aku .

tak apa . janji kau gembira :)

but still deep in my heart , i did pray for us .

for our relationship to be like before .

yes i miss you . and i miss you even more than before

ingat lagi tak doa yang i selalu baca lepas solat tu ?

ya i masih amalkan :)

dengan harapan benda tu jadi knyataan .

tapi kalau awak memang tak tercipta untuk saya , tak apa .

saya harap awak bahagia dengan yang lain .

and after you hang up the phone ,

i realize something .

i love you . i love you more .

it's not him that i love , it's you .

supaya hubungan aku dengan Mohd Farid kekal sehingga akhir hayat kami dan satukanlah kami dengan ikatan yang sah . Amiiiin .

deep from moi heart

If i say that i no longer love you , If i say that i no longer need you

Are those things even true?

When i say that i'm ok , When i say that i'm still gay

Are those actually what i want to say?

For i thought that you no longer in my heart

For i thought that we are leagues apart

If ever those are true why am i keep thinking of you?

People say that i'm tough being able to free of miseries' handcuff

But was that ever enough?

Thought that this matter that i have master

Why in words that i mutter brings me closer to suffer?

Why is it feels bitter in my taste whenever i see your face

In facebook or google ?

Why do i felt staggered by my heart and to feel twisted in my gut

Whenever i realize you no longer a part?

They say that this happen for a reason but why is my heart is still bleeding?

They say that this is part of a test but why am i wearing happiness as a mask?

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in

'Cause I got time while he got freedom

'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven

His best days will be some of my worst

he finally met a girl that's gonna put him first

While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

'Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving

One's still in love while the other one's leaving

You got her heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame

Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh

'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name

In my every turn and in corners

Your halo felt nothing more than tortures

Though i seem like to take no bother

Deep in my heart it screams for us to be together

But it is not something i can do in instance

For fear of cold acceptance and fear of creating disturbance

and that is why i'm keeping a safe distance

Even as my heart throb in pain and agony

And my mind struggles to stay in sanity

But i know that now you are happy

That this is the best to keep you out of misery

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night skies are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now

And i could really use a wish right now to be back on my feet somehow

For even all that i did I felt my life is like shit

One wish is all i ever need to make me you're mine again

And in my wish i would wish for

O' God please open the door

And to continue that verse i would say

Please by my side let him stay

If he left for my ignorant cleanse my soul from such arrogant

If he left for my retarded figure grant me the best feature

Or if he felt that my love is fake

Let him know that my love for him will never break

I love you I hate you

I no longer know which one is true

But one thing for sure

I can never live without you

o' god . please make him stay .

or even if he doesn't , tell me how he's doing with his new life .

and i hope he's doing even better without me beside him .

yes iloveyou still

pictures tell everything

damn it i still thinking of you :'(

tell me why

In my dream children sing a song of love for every boy and girl

The sky is blue and fields are green and laughter is the language of the world

Then I wake and all I see is a world full of people in need

Tell me why does it have to be like this?

Tell me why is there something I have missed?

Tell me why cos I don't understand.

When so many need somebody we don't give a helping hand.

Tell me why?

Everyday I ask myself what will I have to do to be a girl ?

Do I have to stand and fight to prove to everybody who I am ?

Is that what my life is for to waste in a world full of war ?

if we're all the same)

tell me why do we pass the blame

tell me why does it never end

can some one tell us why we cannot just be friends?

gila dah .

love is so short, forgetting is so long. -_-

oh myyyyyyyy :'(

INSPIRED BY YOU :)

Thats the main reason why i made this blog.
sumpah tak tipu.
i hope you're gonna read this.
its dedicated to you.
thanks a lot for all the memories.
it lies within me.
i'm never gonna forget you.
you were the best and always will be.

oh i miss you :'(

love is when you miss him even before he leaves, when you could listen to him talk all night and never get tired of hearing his voice. when the sound of his name sends chills down your spine and you see his smile the second you close your eyes.

i hate the fact that you ignore me for so long .

then you start talking to me like nothing happened .

and sometimes i keep wishing that you would call me up ,

telling me how much you miss me

and how much you miss everything with me .

just know that wherever you are , I miss you .

I really do and i wish you were here :(

ohmyyyyyy you dh active balik fb ? :D

If i walk, would you run?
If i stop, would you come?
If i say you're the one, would you believe me?
If i ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
If i sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am i catching up to you?

im missing you so much right now :( demmmm lah lagu ni .

just so you know , please come back :'(

even aku tahu kau takkan baca blog ni sebab ,

memang tak ada sesiapa pun yang tahu kan ? aku tahu .